Dear God, Are you still here?
I can still remember the look in my 18 month old daughter’s eyes as she lay on the stretcher in the Emergency Room. The doctor had made me stand in the hallway as he performed the spinal tap while the nurses held her down. She looked at me as if to say “Mommy, please help me!” My heart just sank. God, why can’t we explain to our children that when they are sick and we take them to the ER we are helping them? She is so small…If only I could help her understand! You see, we were at home and she had been very sick for a few days. I was doing all I knew to help her. I remember it like it was yesterday. I looked at her and her eyes rolled back in her head. I tried calling out to her but she wouldn’t respond. I picked her up and dashed to the hospital. I prayed all the way asking God to help us.
The doctor had said he didn’t know what the matter was but that it was bad. I have never felt so helpless in my life! I couldn’t even reply. I was speechless. My mind could not comprehend the thought of losing my child. I got up, walked down the hallway further, I could not bear not being able to hold my child. And I started praying. God you know how much I love my daughter but I also know she doesn’t belong to me, that she is only loaned to me to raise for your glory. With a heavy heart I said to God: I give my daughter back to you. If it is your will to take her home to be with you I will accept that, you created her. But if at all possible, please heal her.
I walked back to the hallway outside the room where my daughter was and the nurse placed her in my arms. When the nurse gave her to me I had the greatest sense of peace I have ever felt. She was still trying to catch her breath from crying so much. You know how when children recover from crying they take 4-5 quick breaths at a time. It wasn’t long after that my baby girl started feeling just fine and was actually smiling, talking and asking sooo many questions. In just a little bit the doctor walked over to me with a very puzzled look on his face. He said they could find nothing wrong with her and I could take her home. They were not sure what had happened or how she got well so fast but I knew. God in His mercy had healed my child. Praise be to God.
My daughter is April, the creator of this blog: The Daily Mustard.
Robin, 58, Florida